Saturday, November 16, 2013

How do I do this?

This is hard, I just have to say it, THIS IS HARD!! I don't know when it became so hard, or if it just snuck up on us. Maybe it was always hard, and we just now got to the end of our rope, cause the knot is tied and we are hanging on with all of our might. When we give up our dreams for the calling that God gives us, there is a time of mourning. I think I am there. Mourning mourning for the hope of the future that I had. What are those stages of grief?? Let's see. there is... Shock & Denial- I think that I was there for a while, I mean really how many times do you have to be sworn at, bitten, screamed at and manipulated, and still keep thinking, it's going to be fine, this will be okay and maybe they will grow out of it. Pain & Guilt- I think that for this issue these are the "if only's" "I only I had done..." "If only I had more love..." "If only I could be more patient..." "If only we could get the right set of rules..." Or this could be the "Maybe's stage" "Maybe if we were just more organized..." "Maybe we should go gluten free..." "Maybe a point system will help?" "Maybe drugs will help???" Anger & Bargaining- I think I am in this on and the next one at the same time.... Who the HECK is this person?? What is up with this??? Really GOD!! you think that I can HANDLE this....??? along with the Listen, _____ If you just stop swearing and help by doing your chores you can have your MP3 player back.(just to loose it again tomorrow for swearing and not doing chores) Depression, Reflection & Loneliness- Like I said I think that I am here as well as in the last one.. Can that be done?? I'm just tired, I mean bone deep weary...and how do we get the HECK out of here?? The Upward Turn- REALLY this is next?? THAT WOULD BE AWESOME!!!! That would mean that there was a plan, and that we had...hope. Reconstruction & Working Through- Re-building, there is going to need to be some serious rebuilding, hearts are broken, family members are scared, and I know we have to do this together. Acceptance & Hope- I know that I have to just muscle through it here and accept, because the LORD is my hope and salvation, but I don't know how to accept, part of me feels like acceptance is like giving up (I guess that is how I know that I am not here yet...right??)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

some gristle to gnaw on...

from The Immitation of Christ
by Thomas a Kempis
"Jesus today has many who love his heavenly kingdom, but few who carry his cross; many who yearn for comfort, few who long for distress. Plenty of people he finds to share his banquet, few to share his fast. Every one desires to take part in his rejoicing, but few are willing to suffer anything for his sake. There are many that follow Jesus as far as the breaking of bread, few as far as drinking the cup of suffering; many that revere his miracles, few that follow him in the indignity of his cross,; many that love Jesus as long as nothing runs counter to them; many that praise and bless him, as long as they receive some comfort from him; but should Jesus hide from them and leave them for a while, they fall to complaining or become deeply depressed."

no sermon from me here...I am to busy picking up my jaw....I don't remember seeing Thomas a Kempis in my house...and yet....hmmm... he seems to have been looking in my window...creapy saint...lol...and yet ...trying Lord, thank you for the word....

Monday, August 22, 2011

here we go again....

So it's probably going to hurt...but I have been thinking...
there was something broken in me and once again God used the people around me to put some of the pieces back together...
So, probably the next step...because this is kinda the way that HE works...is ....growth...
I just know that God is gong to ask me to grow...sigh...I''m not good at it...really I would rather just mumble away in my ignorance...but I would be remiss if I didn't notice some obvious clues....
Christ woke me up at 6:30 this morning with a song in my heart and an amazing sunrise...
He gave me time to pee (by myself!!!)
The baby stayed asleep and I picked up a bible study that I just got on a whim and read the intro...an with this sentence, it hit me...
"If a man tells you that he is fond of The Immitation, view him with sudden suspicion; he is either a dabbler or a saint." (Monsignor Knox on the work of Thomas a Kempis called The Immitation of Christ)
and it struck me....I am perfectly happy...was, I should say, being a dabbler... right now it is easier to just live as a Christian and not grow...and that is why I had to go through that dark place, because I have just been happy with my whining Christian self...
I have been called by Christ to be a saint....and to grow in HIM...and I just ignore HIM...I know what I need to do...and act, instead...in fear...so, crud...that's where I am
I have to do this Bible study now...and then....I guess that I am going to have to read this book....
So...here we go again...help me LORD...without you I can do nothing

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

wonderful summer part deux

Alrighty, two wonderful thing are not much you say...but WAIT ! There's MORE!!!

Act right now and you will see the amazing way thet GOD has just poured out HIS blessings!!!!*

We got to participate in our home school groups anual 40 ft sundae...
If you have never seen 40 ft of ice cream, toppings, kids happier than they have ever been,and adults trying NOT to look like thier kids, you should really try it!!!

One COMPLETELY unexpected treat was to spend a glorious Mother's Day weekend with all of my Mom's ! That is right, I got to see my Mom in TN, my Mom from FL, and ROAD TRIP with my Grandma Schmitz!
(complete with police escort, for a time. In fact, that was another blessing! The nice southern officer let me and my Nana off with a "you aren't from around here..." and a "The road's gunna make a dor-leg, then you'll go past the big blue bridge.." Thank you Lord for a gentleman and an officer...)

In conjunction with the Mom's R Us tour was my baby sister's graduation. By some amazing and fancy footwork I not only got to be there for my sister...which is sad to say, a rare thing,,,but I was together with my whole Bacheldor family!!! AWESOME!!! ...see Dad, I still remember that I can only use that word to describe a work of GOD !

*Let me remind you that I am not invoking some pie in the sky uninterested "being"... I am talking about a LIVING, WORKING, POWERFUL, CREATOR who's plan for my family is PERFECT and timed just right!

Monday, July 18, 2011

It has been an amazing SUMMER !!




So, I'm not going to fool anyone by saying that this has been the best time in my life. You would all know that I am lying through my teeth! HOWEVER, I do need to say that some wonderful things have happened. Not just in a fakey way. God has lived an breathed here in our lives this summer.Since I need to spend a little more time on my blessings...you guys are coming with!

1. We had an amazing time at my Mom's place in TN we were treated to the Renaissance festival complete with a ride in a Limo-corn and a tour of a castle. I am not sure if the kids really got how cool those things were..but, I have never ridden in a Limo-corn...soooo....

2. Jeff graduated!!!! YEAHHH! He not only graduated, but, he graduated Cum Laude!!! I can not even begin to tell you how proud I am!He is an amazing hubby and father, well, that we already knew...but wowee...he's bursting with brains too! He has sacrificed and done without and he has earned his degree! AWESOME LOML!! I really was amazingly pleased at the Dean's breakfast...I think that I was glowing that day more than he was...

Monday, September 27, 2010

I'm a copy cat.....

A good friend of mine runs a MUCH better blog.....
soooo...
I'm going to copy her, just because no one reads this and I want to, so there..

2010 Kids say the darndest things...

1. What is something mom always says to you?

James: That you love us.
Paul: Stop doing that,Paul
Stephen: Obey the rules.
Liza: I love you.
Simon: I love you because I always ask for glasses.

2. What makes mom happy?

James: Helping with a good attitude.
Paul: When I make great things to show you.
Stephen: Cuddles.
Liza: When you do the right thing.
Simon: Cleaning

3. What makes mom sad?

James: When I disobey.
Paul: When I disobey her.
Stephen: calling her mean names.
Liza: When you umm...don't do what our parents tell you to do.
Simon: Doing stuff that are wrong.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

James: By tickling us.
Paul: How your voice can change some times.
Stephen: Monster atack, tickling me.
Liza: By tickling you.
Simon: Tickling.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

James: You were happy and the oldest.
Paul: I don't know.
Stephen: ummm...nice and careing
Liza: Great child.
Simon: Doing good things.

6. How old is your mom?

James: 32
Paul: 33
Stephen: 32
Liza: 24
Simon: uh...32

7. How tall is your mom?

James: about 6 rulers
Paul: I don't know that!!!!
Stephen: about 6 ft.
Liza: big
Simon: as big as Dad

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

James: Play!
Paul: Watch us play nicely.
Stephen: Play with us.
Liza: help me.
Simon: Chasing people.

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

James: She misesus.
Paul: Play city of wonder?
Stephen: Think of you. (as in him)
Liza: She calls somebody to watch us.
Simon: Look for them.

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

James: It will be giving up for God.
Paul: Me.
Stephen: Loving.
Liza: Work at a movie theater??
Simon: Having dimmer.

11. What is your mom really good at?

James: Making costumes.
Paul: Making me laugh.
Stephen: Crafts and taking care of us.
Liza: Typing.
Simon: Chasing people alots and lots and lots.

Well, I guess that I am not doingso bad after all....

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

in bed...

So...ahem, a lot happens in our bed...kidwise...watch it, this is a family blog...

ANY WAY! Our kids have a tendency to pile into our bed most mornings in a random assortment...at differing times and funny things happen, some of my favorite conversations take place there...that is for sure...this morning was no exception.

The scene:
Jeff and I are in bed with Littlest Man and Princess...there is tickling and laughter...and at one point Princess is trapped...the comedy begins...

Daddy: "HaHA! I have you trapped!"
Princess: "That's not a trap!"

Enter Davey Crockett...with perfect timing...

Davey: "That's right...some traps hang you..."

Davey pops onto the bed

"...or trap you underground...or..." (the litany continues with much imagination...apparently he has thought about this a lot!)

What a great way to start the morning!